Hi such a long time tak tulis something here, how i missed my blogging day..hmmmm
responsibility or burden?...now both words are buzzing inside my mind..i don't know which word is suitable for me rite now..being responsible for something tt not ur responsible is a burden for u actually..tried my best not to complaint n has dis doubting feeling inside me make me such a horrible person. I hate being such a complaining person, n mulut longkang or busuk or not sincere in doing my jobs. But sometimes i need to be such too...ayarkz y it's happening to me..i hate n hate to be in dis situation.. if someone doesn't know me, mesti dis mis interpretation occurred. Sometimes i felt tt i'm a mom to 3 kids, i cook, clean n doing household jobs, n yes indeed i do it cuz i want to do it. But please don't take advantage for my kindness..=( ppl seikhlas mana pun apa yang dia buat when ppl take advantage confirm semuanya akan jadik tak ikhlas, n i hate being such person....arghhhhhhh..yyy??
i need time for me MYSELF not wif others..sometimes i need to be alone, to do my stuffs, even being naked in my room....or doing "little2 things" in my room..i need SPACE..times tt i don't want to share my stuffs, my room, my toiletries.... even my times wif others, times tt i felt i want to be alone, had u ever tot about tt?..i wanna tell u tt, but i don't have tt strength..or u know but u just ignore tt,or cuz ME is just ur shoulders to cry on n after tt nothing?? do u think tt u r the only one who has problems? did u realize tt or u just refuse to realize tt? i'm not ur maid n wut i need is just a little respect..tired being someone who please others, but in her heart she's suffering like hell, becoming insincere doing it, argggghh wut a miserable feeling in earth..God please helps me, i'm not kinda person...i'm try' to be nice n good to others, i'm try' to comfort others but how about ME? just asked u a little favour but wut did i get?NOTHING...my favour is ur UNDERSTANDING...only tt i'm asking u, nothing else...may b i'm not a good listener n good in giving ideas n i'm not in ur shoes, n i don't want to be in ur shoes n i wish not to be in ur shoes, n i told u tt i want to be wif u..give my precious times to u etc..i don't want any return from u, but just token in APPRECIATION..tts all....u see me tak kisah n so on, but do u know wut i felt? can't u see from my face i hate tt? can't u see from my action or else u just shut ur eyes blind?sometimes ur words are such sword tt hurt me so damn much, but u not realize it cuz in ur mind u r the only one who has problems....i just kept it INSIDE me n just smiled cuz i won't hurt u, n i care n love u..hmmmm...i don't know sampai bila akan mengaduh n menyimpan..is it my fault or i'm too bad to be somebody fren..hmmm only GOD knows..do i stupid or i just prepare myself for being used by others like 'the game' said to me? i don't know n i really blur...i want my life back..i want my happiness back n i want my smiles, n i don't want dis feeling, feeling of doubtfulness n insincere in doing things...i hate such n goshh i think i'm the one now...=((
responsibility or burden?...now both words are buzzing inside my mind..i don't know which word is suitable for me rite now..being responsible for something tt not ur responsible is a burden for u actually..tried my best not to complaint n has dis doubting feeling inside me make me such a horrible person. I hate being such a complaining person, n mulut longkang or busuk or not sincere in doing my jobs. But sometimes i need to be such too...ayarkz y it's happening to me..i hate n hate to be in dis situation.. if someone doesn't know me, mesti dis mis interpretation occurred. Sometimes i felt tt i'm a mom to 3 kids, i cook, clean n doing household jobs, n yes indeed i do it cuz i want to do it. But please don't take advantage for my kindness..=( ppl seikhlas mana pun apa yang dia buat when ppl take advantage confirm semuanya akan jadik tak ikhlas, n i hate being such person....arghhhhhhh..yyy??
i need time for me MYSELF not wif others..sometimes i need to be alone, to do my stuffs, even being naked in my room....or doing "little2 things" in my room..i need SPACE..times tt i don't want to share my stuffs, my room, my toiletries.... even my times wif others, times tt i felt i want to be alone, had u ever tot about tt?..i wanna tell u tt, but i don't have tt strength..or u know but u just ignore tt,or cuz ME is just ur shoulders to cry on n after tt nothing?? do u think tt u r the only one who has problems? did u realize tt or u just refuse to realize tt? i'm not ur maid n wut i need is just a little respect..tired being someone who please others, but in her heart she's suffering like hell, becoming insincere doing it, argggghh wut a miserable feeling in earth..God please helps me, i'm not kinda person...i'm try' to be nice n good to others, i'm try' to comfort others but how about ME? just asked u a little favour but wut did i get?NOTHING...my favour is ur UNDERSTANDING...only tt i'm asking u, nothing else...may b i'm not a good listener n good in giving ideas n i'm not in ur shoes, n i don't want to be in ur shoes n i wish not to be in ur shoes, n i told u tt i want to be wif u..give my precious times to u etc..i don't want any return from u, but just token in APPRECIATION..tts all....u see me tak kisah n so on, but do u know wut i felt? can't u see from my face i hate tt? can't u see from my action or else u just shut ur eyes blind?sometimes ur words are such sword tt hurt me so damn much, but u not realize it cuz in ur mind u r the only one who has problems....i just kept it INSIDE me n just smiled cuz i won't hurt u, n i care n love u..hmmmm...i don't know sampai bila akan mengaduh n menyimpan..is it my fault or i'm too bad to be somebody fren..hmmm only GOD knows..do i stupid or i just prepare myself for being used by others like 'the game' said to me? i don't know n i really blur...i want my life back..i want my happiness back n i want my smiles, n i don't want dis feeling, feeling of doubtfulness n insincere in doing things...i hate such n goshh i think i'm the one now...=((
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